even a cartoon is annoyed with me.

people are leaving and im all alone. where did i go wrong? you can hate me all you want, just so you know i have nothing against you. from bestfriends to a guy you like to an admirer: i hope you guys are doing okay, sorry i wasnt much of a help when you needed me. sorry i couldnt have given you more money, more advice, more words of wisdom at the time when you needed it most. but you know everytime before i go to bed, i will always think about all of you, how have you treated me and wonder have i made an effect in your life. but lets just put that behind, no need of a new start i get it you guys were just waiting for an event to come so that you guys have a reason to leave. shouldve told me from the start, i wouldnt mind a bit because you know why, i care about my friends more than myself. you wouldnt see and know about that cause you dont even care to see it. i dont have any problem with rejection but something i can never face is ignorance. you can ignore me all you want, just so you know i will never forget. although i have 1k+ in my friendlist, but i still remember each and one of them...so it wouldnt be hard for me to remember a simple hello and a harsh goodbye :)

for all of this everyone's better off without me, i know you regret all of this, your loneliness.

you'll see one day that no one knows for sure what they want. im not trying to be down to earth. its just that fuck all of this, who needs them anyways..

im really lousy in school. screwed up and real as it can get. a moron. i was antisocial and didnt bother with some of the kids. a really bad student, i dont have any brains. i dont know what im even doing here, when i grow up i want to be an actor, so i can act, pretend and not really be who i really am...cause i hate it.

waiting to hear from you and everyone else, friends...

"youre going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. but in the end, its always their actions you should judge them by. its actions, not words, that matter."—Nicholas Sparks.

im a happy kid, i mingle around with people alot, ill walk with my ponytail swinging side to side, ill laugh at almost everything...but its true what people said you can never judge a book by its cover. i dont really like writing and expressing my feelings into words. but i guess its just a way for me to make sure people hear me out. i post depressing blogs from the beginning because almost all of my life ive never been blessed with having good people around me. i thank God for the achievements i achieved throughout the years, but the greatest treasure i want to seek is a real relationship that is built between two people. i want to have a friend that will say i look nice, even if i was wearing a horrible dress, a friend who would tell the truth so that i know that he'll never lie towards me and a friend who may be far away from me but i know he's always close to heart. im not demanding, i just wish there was someone whod actually be like this cause i know im nothing close to any of the above.

after so many arguements we finally made it. for those who didnt came, you guys are dumb to get all emotional and not showing up. what a loss, everyone forgot about it when were there :)

i contradict the fact that i still want you around but theres not much one can do, wouldnt life be great if we were allowed to live by ourselves with no one else around. at least things wont be all downhill from when its at the top and no one can hurt you.

-i want to be alone so that i wont get hurt
-i dont want to hope so that i dont rely on others
-i dont need new friends because i know one day they will leave
-i dont want anyone else cause things will never fade

"yet im nothing more than a line in your book"

I miss my past. I wish things would still be how it was then. I know i could never turn back time. The only way for me to hold on: by reading and looking through everything that was in black and white. Im a wuss, im a wreck. I knew it was too good to be true.

the thought of knowing when i want it its not there, when i have it i never cared brought silent drops of grief rolling down my cheeks.

I feel lethargic these days. I dont feel like going to school, i dont feel like eating, i dont feel like going anywhere. I just think that whatever i do i tend to ruin it and end up falling.

well all of us have had friends that come and go out of our lives but there are friends who come through our lives who will back stab, lie, and just do you wrong. whtever the case may be, the betrayal of a friend can hurt us so bad at times, we dont understand why.

i swear i thought to this day, they were my friends for other purposes, which kept me like a “puppet on a string”. in the end, they lied to me, take advantage over me and listened to others talk about me behind my back. though i learned years ago, One is never prepared when a friend hurts another. i have friends that violate my trust and all rules as a friend. to have friends disrespect another dsnt account for their actions when they are out for themselves.

i know shit happens, its a part of life and we have to learn to deal as life comes at us fast. i realized that friends dnt come easy these days as they did when i was growing up. as much as all of us will be angry from our friends hurting us in life, to me walking away from that friendship is the best way to go...its better to think that youre better off without me and i dont exist.

but what do i care, for the few friends that I do have in my life these days, I love them dearly as they have been with me for years as I have of them. i have made new friends on the internet, through another friend and just saying hi to a random stranger and i love knowing new ones. i pray that they too, i soon understand that friendship is a treasured thing and that they would not become the victim of the betrayal of a friendship as the rest have.

I admit I'm no angel. I don't have a halo floating on top of my head.
But this is not fair, for all the troubles that I'm facing: my ultimate downfall.
I never ask for my good deeds to be returned but it is up to One to know
and realize that you shouldn't treat me the way you're treating me now.
I don't want to bring this up, but who helped you by lending money?
Gave your parents a whole new perception on you? Made you believe in life and not give up?
You shouldn't do this to me, i thought i was your friend.
I gave my trust to you, you gave me your word.
And this is how you repay me, by disappearing in the horizon,
pretend that nothing ever happened. This isn't fair. I was always there for you.
I look up to you, you're like my brother, blood to blood.
If you think leaving is what's best for you, then go.
If it makes you feel better, I'll assign your debts with me.

Stop trying to help me out. Dont try to be him cause he will never be replaced. You make up stories about me, then you go bitch around about me. Youre a guy, youre not suppose to do that. Even i dont do that. Look in the mirror before you start to cuss at me. I never post aggrevative stuff on my blogs or online. But you know what heres the whole confession..you want to go spread about this too? Get it in that little head of yours if i didnt want you the first time i wouldnt want you the second time, now do i? Oh well unfortunately, ive been told that im easy to get? Get what? Be lying on the bed with you? Hold hands with you? Well hello, fxck that stupid mind of yours. I dont even shake a guy's hand unless its someone im really close to. When you only know the extent of various, doesnt mean you really know me. You want to know the real me? Well here's a nice intro: im self-centred, im ignorant, i talk to anyone and reply to whoever the fxck i want to, i think the world revolves around me and lastly im never going to like you. So dont even think of comparing yourself to someone i really care. When you read this, take this as a way of me trying seek for attention. You and your whole clan can hate me, cause i wouldnt care, im a bitch remember? :] Ok sarcasm wont work but...fxckyoubeyondallrecognition.

sorry to anyone who's reading this that has nothing to do with it but had the tendency to look at it and see what i wrote...sincere apology.

being perfect is not about the way you impress other people. its about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. being perfect is about able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. that the truth is you did everything you could and that there wasnt one more thing you couldve done. so leave your pessimism behind and dont look in your past, try and look whats already infront of you.

xYOUR HAND IN MINEx

if you ever wonder the thoughts i have for you was a waste, well its not. the gap that disconnect the things from good and bad had just brought disappointment on our backs. i wish things will be like it was 6 months ago. where we were always ready and just wouldnt stop. i know i blew it, but now im ready, so please dont go. youre the best thing that ever happened to me. your pessimistic had not brought trouble to me but instead it changed me and i could never thank you enough. a major difference between both, but i know things can work out.

i did a few mistakes in this video but ive fixed it already and i already know how to play yeay :D

92Miles.

i hope things havent change and everything is still the same.

tomorrow is just another day of hostile emotional fears. my mistake is i should have told you how i felt, when i had the chance and now its just too late. even if you hate me now, just knowing that you are still here, somewhere happy. i know at least i can go on with knowing you are okay even if im not. i miss you and everytime i hear this song i always think of you.

i think its all coming back to me. i started back drawing after i stopped for 2 years. my inspiration has got me really far. when i woke up this morning i had this thought, why did i ever stopped playing the piano. so i started again thinking of covering a few songs, wish me luck :)

ive started photography since i was little, but my dreams were shattered when some mortal took my priciest possesion away from me. so yea my mum told me shes gonna get me a new one, hopefully soon cause seems like i cant live without one. my work, my pay depends on a lousy gadget that is expensive to get. FML i hope ill get it soon cause im like fxcking broke.

like i said before i dont actually have a reason to be here. theres nothing left. no one i can talk to, no one to ask me "How are you today?", "Have you eaten?" and like "What? Whered your parents go?" something like that. I miss what used to be around me, sometimes i wonder whether i show appreciation towards it. forgive me for my wrong doings, i shouldve realized it sooner. i dont want to turn back time i just want this story to end because everyone seemed to leave it hanging. those last words are still hanging in the air.