ive been lethargic these days, thinking...

as i sit here, trying my utmost hardest to focus on work i cant deny that there are tears rolling down my eyes. everyone around me and everything is just falling apart. i dont know if you really knew me, but im someone who cares about someone else more than myself. i just put them a priority before me.

why do you even wonder if you were to had other parents. would you think your life would me much more simpler? less drama? having a family filled with love and adoration for one another. not a constant war of words. everyone needs someone to lean their heads on, a shoulder to cry on, someone to go through all this shit with but all whats in your head is lonesome. people are here to help although everyone has reached the verge where they cant do anything anymore. i know the feeling wanting to start your own life and get away from all this but you cant you are still a kid. youve relied on your parents for the past years, tell me how do you break free. there are reasons for the stories told by your mum. but whenever she tells you something, you will look away. youre tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. you think how does it makes her feel, how hurt and painful shes feeling inside. nobody likes seeing someone close to them fall apart but it happens almost. every. single. day. youre not neglected by any parties, people care they just dont know how to show it. someone may put a strong face and look fine with it but really theyre not. theres always people waiting to help us, as much as people say they care and love you tho they may let you down all the time, but the fact that they stayed...they stayed. I STAYED