Cause theres too many scenarios to analyze. No i dont think too much, its just that im so far behind and im trying to make sense. I look back how it was a year ago, all the melancholy feelings did caught up on me but it all made sense back then. No one told me the right way to go about this. So ill figure this out for myself. I let my guard down once for something that doesnt even exist now im guarded and therefore i can bear and endure.