you are a devastation in the form of a such a lovely, divine human being.

this time its not the fear of rejection im facing. its just “you no longer ignite a light inside of me…”. i care so much about you but sometimes you let me down. you let me down all the time. unfair for me to go through the pain everytime you say hi and bye. it doesnt work simple as that. im not scared of the dark, im just scared of what i might encounter when im in it. im not scared of heights, im just scared that the pain from falling will hurt me so fucking deep. i feel like both could have moved further but...life is too short for love to be anything but amazing. thought you hated me and i was going to confront you for hating me for the wrong reasons, because you always seemed to ignore me. but then you said hi to me last week. i always have a hard time trusting people and the tendency of others to take advantage of my trust towards them. i used to be new in the betrayal game, but One has taught me well about life and i will always remember this one person that you should not be afraid of taking risk and letting your guard down. im sorry but i can no longer imply that in myself anymore, i feel mentally challenged. mindfucked with everything that is happening around me. im not antisocial...im not avoiding people, im just scared of rejection. the fact that im not afraid of trying again. im just afraid of getting. hurt. cause. of. the. same. reason.

im this girl who is vulnerable to that cold, stabbing pain called rejection.