i think im really making progress here. im picking up the pieces and moving on. it feels great. i think the feeling did fade, it did go away. ive got nothing left to lose. so im after all the little white lies. so now here i am...living my life at best. focusing on something more worthwhile and not something subversive. i want to do well in life, if i dont get someone to share it with then theres nothing left to do. I cant fight fate. i still have my family and bestfriends. i dont mind :)